The folly of, "what if?"

 

            As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. John 9:1 ESV

            Here we find a man born blind, sitting beside the way, with nothing much to do. And we are given to understand this had been the occupation of his life, sitting and begging. We can imagine he had a lot of time to think. And what do we suppose he was thinking about? What do we find ourselves thinking about when life leaves us sitting beside the way with time to think? Do we ponder how we got there? Do we perhaps wonder if there might have been some other way we could’ve gone? Do we wonder, perhaps where else we might have ended up? Do we not find ourselves moving from practical questions, into those alluring questions of what if?

There are few questions which hold the captivating power of, “what if?” The question immediately removes the constraints of what is which often seem to hold us in less favorable positions. We are free to believe that which is not evident, not apparent; but desperately wished for. We are able to visualize our hidden beliefs, to argue that these things really are true, and that it was only a cruel twist of fate that prevented them. And the more personal the beliefs in questions the stronger the grip of speculation. You really are a gifted athlete, and you would have been one of the greats if only… You are a very capable leader, and you might have done great things if… Your opinions are truly correct, and if only this had of happened everyone would see… You see, this simple two-word query opens the door for the assertions we most want to press. This singular question allows us to press for our total vindication.

            Now, imagine you were told at a formative age you had no real place in society, what question is likely to follow? Imagine at a formative age you were told that you lacked a critical ability to navigate the world around you, what question would you be occupied with? We would like to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and say that we would ask practical questions about compensating for our deposits, or accommodating them, or understanding precisely what they were… We would like to think this is what we would do; but it isn’t.

            You see, I don’t have to wonder, I already lived it; and the questions I asked most were, “what if?” I tell you this so that you will know there is nothing of idle talk here. You have been told you have lost something you can never get back, something profoundly important that is sure to alter the course of your existence. You’ve been told there was an opportunity you were meant to have, and it was taken away without your knowledge or consent. It is as if you were violated… It hurts, and it leads to more situations that hurt, and with each fresh pain stimulus comes the question, “what if?”

            You aren’t athletic, what if you hadn’t lost that visual acuity? Your ACT scores weren’t as high as you had hoped, what if they hadn’t used that medicine on you? Socially awkward, what if they hadn’t used that other medicine? Stuck in life, what if you had more confidence as a result of gaining greater freedom? Bad marriage, what if you had the confidence to date earlier? How many thousands of questions are there to be asked? And each one spawns a fantasy or two, or more of a better, more fulfilled, and happier life. Each one presents an escape from this agony of defeat, and the humiliation of limitations.

            To be clear the problem isn’t just in retrospection, we can daydream our present right into the past, or fantasy our future into a history of regrets. It isn’t that we are looking back too much: though that is a danger in itself. The problem is that we rejecting reality whether it is reality past, reality present, or reality yet to come. We are fantasy a life of control.

            A fantasy life isn’t a real life; but hey, you have all these moments of weakness, and injustice, and suffering to tell you how unfit you are for real life anyways. You were made for real life, but then they gave you that treatment and now you aren’t smart enough. You were made to live, but then you lost your chance and now you are stuck. You missed the moment, you made the wrong choice, you never had the choice you needed to begin with, you were wronged, you were afflicted, etc., etc. and now life in the real world is just too much. What else can you do, but ponder what might have been?

            You can stop being a victim. I know it doesn’t feel that way, especially when you were a victim once, and maybe more. You were a victim, I was a victim, at some point we all were I suspect; but the key word here is “were.” We were a victim once, but that time passed. We were victims once, but we do not have to remain so. We do not have to keep living in that moment of pain and loss. We do not have go through life reliving what happened, and looking for sympathy. There is a time to mourn the hurt and loss, but only for a season.

            As long as life continues there is something left to us, and that cannot be neglected. I doubt I’ll ever have the abilities I lost in this life, but I have other abilities to cultivate and use as best I can. I might not be what I might have been, but I still have something to apply. Each day I have spent concerned over what isn’t I have added more to it. By making my limitations the focus I add another limitation, an unnecessary one. So, I am again a victim, but this time I my own victim. Not only my own, but also the victim of whatever or whoever hurt me before. And I am more the victim for a allow more to be taken.

            In all of this I am absolutely ridiculous, as is the man who keeps hitting himself. It is most ridiculous when we expect others to admire us for remaining victims in life. We go around asking that everyone around us consider what we might have been if only. We ask them a question of what if, so that they might join us in deepening our pit of pity. Yet, what reason do have to join our morbid speculation? More importantly, what grounds do they have to imagine anything substantial has been lost when we are so busy feeling sorry for ourselves, and fantasying that we haven’t even begun to do anything more? This is a self-defeating, and self-perpetuating cycle of foolishness.

            Moreover, our favorite pursuit of speculation is futile. We imagine we know what would have happened, but we really don’t, and we really can’t. There are too many variables for our minds to hold. I can imagine that obtaining my driver’s license would have allowed me to build a great social life, discover myself, gain confidence, grasp more opportunities, and end up rich and famous. However, obtaining a driver’s license might have led me to wrap myself around a tree at speed and die in high-school. It might have led me to bad influences, and a wasted life. I don’t know, and I never will. The Bible says as much in Proverbs 27:1, and James 4:14. Any answer we give to a what if, is just a daydream: perhaps it is a somewhat informed daydream, but a daydream nonetheless. In 2 Timothy 2:23 Paul instructs the young pastor to avoid and discourage speculations, even those with pious overtones, and stick to the truth of God’s word see chapters 3 and 4 also.

            And this is what God’s word says on the matters at hand,

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11 ESV

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11 ESV

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose… He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:28, 32 ESV

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV

                Do you see dearly beloved, that for those who trust God this business of speculation, of self-pity, of what-if, and if-only is beyond foolish and futile? If we find we prefer our fantasies to God’s reality, well it is really God we have a problem with. And the problem is very simply this, we do not actually trust Him. We deny the faith, we deny the scriptures, we deny God. And what is really tragic, we deny ourselves the most profound consolation, comfort, assistance, and ultimate good by cutting ourselves off from the fullness of the presence of God in our lives. Now, make no mistakes, God is still there, He is there and He is not silent; but we aren’t listening. We are like little children who have run to their rooms and shut the doors to sulk because they did not get exactly what they wanted precisely when they wanted it. Now, think about this, when you were a child did you really know what was best?... Of course, you didn’t.

            God knows so much more of life than we do, he created it after all. Why, just read in John chapter 9 and you shall see. We have a man born blind, living a wretched life by any standard, and even the disciples see that there is nothing good happening here. The man is a victim, a victim they believe of sin. He must remain a victim, there isn’t anything else for him, of this they are certain. It doesn’t even occur to them to ask if something can be done, even though they have seen Jesus do such remarkable things already. But, Jesus… Jesus defies all their expectations, all their understanding, all the conventional wisdom of man in verse 3. In that incredible verse Jesus says, “Truly I tell you neither this man or his father sinned that he was born blind, but this was done so that the glory of God might be revealed.”

            That man, that object of pity, he was no victim… No beloved that man was blessed with more than his sight, he had a life a truly wonderful life with a wonderful purpose. His purpose was directly tied to that disability which made him appear a hopeless, helpless victim. On his own he might have remained just that, but Jesus arrives and everything changes. It isn’t just that Jesus now, finally gives the poor man something good, it is that Jesus redeems everything up to this point for the good.

            The man’s past is redeemed, and his present, and his future too. When Christ arrives the whole of life is saved from the ruination of sin. Christ steps into all of it at once. The past which is forever outside of our reach is well within His almighty grasp. The present with which we struggle to contend with is under His absolute control. Tomorrow which is ever a mystery to us is held firmly in God’s hand. There is then no more to speculate as we can trust. Speculation is all about what we cannot know, trust on the other hand is all about Who we know…

            It is like this; in this world we are going to have troubles… Jesus says exactly that in john 16:33. You will always be a victim of something in this life whether it circumstances, or the evil that others do, or your own foolishness, and always sin. And the evil one will always be at hand to whisper to you that fatal question, “what if?” To break your trust in God, and lead you down a path to ruin. The demonic forces will ever be casting their fiery darts of doubt, trying to get us to believe that the battle and the war were lost yesterday, and all that is left to us is the dream of victory. That is a lie, Christ has overcome all! And so, in Christ alone we have peace that surpasses understanding, for we have confidence that whatever we have suffered is being redeemed to our good and God’s glory. And so, we set ourselves to live in this real world in accordance with Matthew 6:33. Seeking God, and not what might have been. For what is, is according to His good and perfect will, and what will be is Heaven.